you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize