My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
