last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
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U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
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In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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