Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
