well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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