The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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