She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize