OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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