She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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