Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize