You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
