Swine flu. Run for my life!
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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