ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just saw a hot homeless man
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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