I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
