my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
