He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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