my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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