is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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