Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
