either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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