so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
