Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
