Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
