don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
