you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
