They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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