theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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