I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
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I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
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I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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