I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
