Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
