Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
