I skipped work to stalk him.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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