i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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