Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
