I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize