she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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