AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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