Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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