I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
