I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I am midnight drunk by noon
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
