Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
