Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
