I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
