i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
