I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
