Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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