I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
third nipple confirmed
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
