i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
