So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
