so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
