apparently the secret to your success is patron
the day after is always just damage control
I queefed so loud it echoed.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
