I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
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She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
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Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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