Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
