my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
