thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
