It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
