How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
