You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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