Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
